Dank für das Summer

I woke up and...(sigh)! I don't really know how to start this. I don't want to talk about this again. Maybe I'm just starting to reminisce the past. They always say that love causes pain because of the memories. Well, too bad that's how my day started. Reminiscing the past...again! I was like trying to know what's the latest of this person. I tried to know the truth but there were a lot of versions. So I ended up confusing myself. I don't know what to think but I don't really need to think about it. I said I'm done already. I did it but just when I opened my YM account in another interface, there I found again that forbidden account. I was thinking it was wrong so i tried to send a message to find out but then I found out it was really his account. I don't know why it was not deleted on that interface. Well, I don't know how to delete it. I want to find out but then, just when I found out, I don't want to delete it anymore. Maybe because I was thinking that God has a reason why it has to appear there again. Well, It's another challenge for me to fight with. I was back again in this Summer time and it really triggers me to think of how it was during the last year's summer. Everything was just that person and I hate it! I felt reading our past text messages but good thing that phone was gone. I was reading his Friendster messages where everything started and the comment that he made for me. I was thinking if its really true. I felt that he used me and if he was thinking I did used him as well, so maybe we just used each other on those time. But I believe I don't, maybe he did. Enough with that! I write because everything just comes back to life. I felt like crying when I was reading his Friendster messages. The "Pls take care always" that I last heard a year ago or lesser and now, he had somebody else to say those lines. It was me but now it seems that the voice was so far. I can no longer hear it. I felt so emotional today. I prayed as I go to mass this evening. I hope that we both will be at peace again. If not as someone, at least as somebody. I would like to reach him my lines..."Thanks for that Summer"! I've been always humming and singing that song today. I want to cry it out again so that tomorrow, I'll forget all the pain. I believe his happy with someone else's arms...I'm happy for that. It really tears me apart but really I was thankful to have you, to learn from you, to feel real love when I felt no love at all, for making me happy on that very short time yet seems so long, for letting me experience another version of loving, for making me realize my worth, for making me the happiest princess as you were my prince, for the comfort, for the care and the tears you shed, for loving me as the most unworthy person to catch your loving...I did love you and thank you for everything. I will never forget that summer when you came and you catch me just when I was about to fall.

Thank You!

I was so happy to have another shoulder other than the shoulders I already have. That is what this man is to me but above all, I have learned to love him more than I could imagine. It hurts me when stuffs like this happened. Insults! I hate it specially when its comes from him. Maybe I just don't want to hear it from the man I love. It's like embracing a love of pain. I was always thankful for the love he has for me and really thankful for every inch of help he gives me when I need him or when I cant really move for having nothing. I was always thankful and is always thankful for that but just when I have known those words from him...I was really disappointed. I'm happy for all the help he is giving but I never really forced him to give help. I borrow and I pay. If there's nothing to be borrowed then he could refuse. I mean, I don't want to just hear it at the end that there was actually a problem on that. I know that this person was really good...he shares a lot of what he had. A lot of people was thankful to that including me but I believe that Im the only person he had talked about this matter.I know it was not of his intention to insult me but I just felt that way. I never intended to be somebody's burden into their lives. I am always thankful for these kind of people who is always willing to help. Specially because this person is simply special to me. But I never expected this would happen. From now on, I will consider him as my last option on helping me to survive. I never forced him and I will never make him do it because of sympathy. Never again now that I knew what he felt and think about it.

Its the Number

I keep on implanting into my mind that the person I knew was already happy with the life that he has. I want to forget and I want to get over. I was walking at Bajada last Friday from DOST office to LBP. As I was walking, I remembered the person who came to L2S to get me even though I was laughing at him because he might get lost. He doesn't really know Davao because he was new in here. But yet he came. Very sweaty maybe because of his adventure ride to an unknown place. I can still remember that he always waits for me for almost 2 hours because I was still on my OJT. I miss that person but I'm preventing to think about him. I always shook my head every time I remember anything about him. Just when I did, all the numbers we had show up. The numbers that we made meaning. It maybe 11, 0811, or 81. Out of the blue it just show up. It can be on a taxi, a jersey, shirt, booth, food court...as in everywhere. I just pretend I'm not seeing it and I throw away my sight to something else. It's not easy. When those numbers show up it makes me start on thinking about that person on my past. Well, the best thing is to smile and divert my emotions to anything else. As what I read from one of his writings, "Nobody wants to embrace pain, simply because its pain." Its something like that. Well, I'm inculcating to myself the same thing that he does to himself. Just really have to move on. I want to be happy for the separate lives and the persons that we both have in our life right now. If it will be us, then it will be us. I always believe on destiny and I know that it will lead us to the person really meant for us.

FAILED!

Today is our PHILNITS exam schedule. Too bad I wasn't able to wake up early and be there on the venue. I was out last night and really got so tired. Well, I just missed the chance but the good thing was, I can still take it till I get older. Hahaha! So enough with the failure. All I know right now is that I really should work on my being late problem. It's always been a lesson to me every time I came late to my schedules. I learned but its just hard for me to make it. Maybe I need a lot of alarm clocks around me. Hahaha! I really love sleeping and go out at the same time. Its my relaxing mechanism other than playing my audition world. The best thing I have in mind right now is to stop being late before it's too late for me to get successful. I'd love to work and the only problem is my time management. It's not just "only" but its a real big problem I have.

Technical School

I have this interest on technical skills since this was my focus on my college years. I’m not really good at it so visiting sites about technical training would really be a big help. This site I have visited presents line-ups of technical schools by location, technical careers and program and also features technical certification training. These tech schools basically does IT training that is indeed good for those who are interested on technical stuff and wants to be highly educated about it. Visit them now and learn more about their site!

Pharmacy Technician Training

Medical-Career-Training.com was designed to provide visitors with the most comprehensive information available on Medical Training programs nationwide. This is an education site for pharmacy technicians. They also have their focus on pharmacy technician, pharmacy technician salary, and everything about pharmacy tech. The site provides information on career options for individuals looking to work in the medical field, as well as the degrees available and course offerings at leading institutions. They present school forms that are constantly updated to maintain the accuracy and integrity of their partners, and enable you to request information directly from campus and online schools to learn more about their programs.

They also have featured articles where they present valuable insights into specific industries and topics. Whether you're just starting out in the medical industry, researching the latest medical trends or looking to further your professional career, Medical-Career-Training.com connects you to the information you need to be successful!

[Adult] SinRex - PE REVIEW

I have visited a site really out of my interest but good enough to educate me. This website is actually applicable for those who have open mind but then this can be helpful for everybody who are interested. They open topics on penis enlargement. They present penis enlargement reviews for those who wanted to be educated. They define the extender as a medical device, originally developed to provide a natural and non-surgical alternative to the invasive procedures needed to correct penile curvature and Peyronie’s disease. They offer penis enlargement pills for those who are into this kind of matter. Just be old enough to understand because in the reality we really know that this kind of matter really happens.

Whew!

So I was 45min late when I arrived on that place. The Session was already starting and since a was a newbie out there, they considered me being late but then tomorrow will be no more rooms for late at all. Started so tired but a bit excited and nervous at the same time. I was not really definite of what I really feel that time. It's a challenge and somewhat a future challenge. Well, everybody was really competitive and had a lot of experience. Only a few where new grads and first timers. I was one of them. I was trying to be confident but then I can't really say to myself that I'm good. Well in fact there were a lot more of great persons out there. So it's really a whew for me because I was late and everybody was really acquainted with each other except me. The good thing was everybody was really so hospitable and caring and that really overwhelms me a lot on this first day. So as the session ended up, I gained friends, got nervous, learned a lot and got really sleepy. I fell asleep as I went home and just woke up by 5Pm and still so tired. I enjoyed the company so far despite of the pressure and a lot more things to think about. Well, I felt like I'm still inside a cave, a very dark one. I was still trying to explore the place and trying to find out how to find the light on the other end of the cave. I just wish I could find the light together with my batch, go to that light, reach the end and finally be out of that dark cave. I'm willing to work on it and I'm very much willing to learn. I pray that I could easily adopt the learnings we had and we will still have. Well...good luck to me and to my batch! I was really scared thinking on what would happen next. I just hope and pray that everybody would pass including me together with my new friends.