Dank für das Summer

I woke up and...(sigh)! I don't really know how to start this. I don't want to talk about this again. Maybe I'm just starting to reminisce the past. They always say that love causes pain because of the memories. Well, too bad that's how my day started. Reminiscing the past...again! I was like trying to know what's the latest of this person. I tried to know the truth but there were a lot of versions. So I ended up confusing myself. I don't know what to think but I don't really need to think about it. I said I'm done already. I did it but just when I opened my YM account in another interface, there I found again that forbidden account. I was thinking it was wrong so i tried to send a message to find out but then I found out it was really his account. I don't know why it was not deleted on that interface. Well, I don't know how to delete it. I want to find out but then, just when I found out, I don't want to delete it anymore. Maybe because I was thinking that God has a reason why it has to appear there again. Well, It's another challenge for me to fight with. I was back again in this Summer time and it really triggers me to think of how it was during the last year's summer. Everything was just that person and I hate it! I felt reading our past text messages but good thing that phone was gone. I was reading his Friendster messages where everything started and the comment that he made for me. I was thinking if its really true. I felt that he used me and if he was thinking I did used him as well, so maybe we just used each other on those time. But I believe I don't, maybe he did. Enough with that! I write because everything just comes back to life. I felt like crying when I was reading his Friendster messages. The "Pls take care always" that I last heard a year ago or lesser and now, he had somebody else to say those lines. It was me but now it seems that the voice was so far. I can no longer hear it. I felt so emotional today. I prayed as I go to mass this evening. I hope that we both will be at peace again. If not as someone, at least as somebody. I would like to reach him my lines..."Thanks for that Summer"! I've been always humming and singing that song today. I want to cry it out again so that tomorrow, I'll forget all the pain. I believe his happy with someone else's arms...I'm happy for that. It really tears me apart but really I was thankful to have you, to learn from you, to feel real love when I felt no love at all, for making me happy on that very short time yet seems so long, for letting me experience another version of loving, for making me realize my worth, for making me the happiest princess as you were my prince, for the comfort, for the care and the tears you shed, for loving me as the most unworthy person to catch your loving...I did love you and thank you for everything. I will never forget that summer when you came and you catch me just when I was about to fall.