I Have to Shove

"People always come and go". That's innate!

I always acquaint with that to myself these past few days. I’ve been drawn in to a big cheese despite of having someone with me. He is a guy so genuine, so fine and so compassionate. I don’t know if I’m just snowed under with his existence or there is really something special behind that. I don’t know if I’m just in high spirits to feel what he does to me knowing that that someone with me never does those things. I’m totally baffled for the last three months. This person is really so childlike in my eyes. I’ve been deciding for so many times but it just amends for a sudden. I just don’t know how to make any decision. Sometimes, I just wanted to just think for my sake. I want to lock myself and be egocentric. But my scruple always knocks my heart. I really don’t want to spoil anybody. If only it’s easy to let go both of them, then ill do. Just to be just. If both of them will be mar, I will be mar as well for loosing both of them. But it’s never easy. It never was.

I’ve done a lot of reflections and judgment and still I don’t discern what do. The other person with me is so fine that he even chose to let go of his feelings and do the right thing. And he was really right with that. I know it’s my slip when I wanted to see him or be with him but I just can’t stop my feelings. Well, as for now, I finally understood what we have talked about. We are never right and have no right to be together with something so exceptional. We are friends and that should be what we are. Both of us deem that if it’s us, then it will be us. For now, we have to play our part as friends and be in the right panel. It’s not easy and we know that but we have to acknowledge and we have to move on. I really have to move on and focus on the right path that we ought to trail.