Endless Nights

I was back from my vacation last October 25, 2007 to be on the b-day of my 2years boyfriend. I was happy when he was surprised to see me back. I did not tell him know that I am already in the city on his day. I really planned to surprise him and was happy for his speechless reaction. “You made my day complete!” This was his words and I was overwhelmed because of that. I stayed in the city for about 4 days before I went home to my hometown. Before I left, something terrible happened that made me think I wish I never got home earlier…he might be still mine. I never realized he could dispatch me that easy. We had a fight and maybe he got annoyed of me. The point is, I never thought these could be done easier. We had a break-up and he was not replying on my SMS and not even replying on my pm’s on yahoo. How could I ever reach him and solve the problem? I’m still with my family and I can’t go near to him right now. Anyway, I had a lot of endless nights. I can’t sleep just thinking of what is really happening. Are we really done?! Is this really happening?! I want to talk to him but it seems that he doesn’t care. I don’t even know what to do because I can’t move here. So many tears again right now and I cant believe I’m in this kind of stage again. I just gave up a best friend who also gave me up and so I had a lot of reasons to cry…to drink. Hoping not!!! Im alone now and had a lot of extended endless nights and probably days. A lot of reasons to fake a smile, to pretend Im okay and to act as if nothing had happened.