Summer Sunshine

My title is actually a song from the CORRS. They are very great girl's band. They are popular and really great performers. Some would say they are not good but for me, they are one of the loveliest. The title I got does not really reflect on the song but of the summer that I used to have. Sunshine becasue its one of the brightest summer I had. I have this wish of a having a guy bestfriend ever since I was a kid. Just last summer, I had one and the most compassionate of all guys I used to know. I love this person in any ways and our story started with a friendly story and unexpectedly, one great love story. Wrong but enchanting, complicated but happy...the best if only we were right. I have to make the summary of it since its a very long story. We started as friends and never guilty bestfriends because at start, we know where we are, what we do and who are we to each other. Until, the guy I had started to create imaginations and we were forced to leave the company of each one. It was really sad that we had to leave each other. That thing, triggered anything. We had this promise: "If ever one starts to fall inlove, never say it. Its best to keep a bestfriend because if we started to go beyond that we might loose both friendship and love." That is exactly what happened later on. He was my bestfriend and we were forced to leave each other. Before leaving each other, one started to confess and for that reason, we really had to leave each other. Later on, the other one had confessed and they promised to leave each other fully. After how many tries, weeks, months...we still cant leave each other. Its really amazing that no matter how hard, we are fighting...but on the wrong side. After 7 months, I did a very bad thing that triggered all his feelings for me. He decided to give up and take away all the love he had for me. I cant move out but he already did. He was happy and until now, i still have this tears hiding in my heart. No one may see it but its really and totally hurting me. Im tired but I cant leave him because it was my fault. I cant stop thinking anything about him and the things that we have done. The history of 10:00 curfew, the mass, the driving, the swing, Link2Suport, the bracelet, hankerchief, red butterfly, white rose, the poem. As in everything. He was the first person to greet me good morning and the last person to bid me good night. Never neglected even one day to do that. He treated me like a princes, he was worried all the time about me, he wakes me up every morning so I wont be late. The smile, the looks in his eyes and all the red carpet when we are in our fairy tale world. How will I be able to forget all these memories? Way back into Love...the song playing when we had a sweet dance. I cant forget every inch of everything that we had. Right now, the sunshine of that summer, all gone, all washed out. It was my fault and I dont even know if it will still come back. I dont know if we still have the 2 years. The person I always think that would just be there at my back when I need him, never here, never near. From the bestfriend I used to know to the person I used to love and now the stranger I have to pass by. Summer sunshine is really over.