Reality

I have been bothered and anxious at the same time. I was given up by the person whom I decided to risk the standards or I may say what is ideal on my own mind. It was certainly the first time I decided to give up whatever what ideal is to me to the person who has nothing but pride. I guess pride cannot feed you right?! Well, call me dumb but I did it. I accepted the almost downs that i consider he have. Just when I did, he run away, get scared of the responsibility of the beginning to be serious dou relationship. I am still blessed after all because somebody came back to rescue my misery. I was very thankful that after all he still accepted me back and I call my greatest intelligence to knock me off and tell me to stop the illness that I am doing. But then I wasn't that happy. I have questions in mind and I have more words left to say to the person who left me. I tried to work things back but he refused it. I tried to speak out but he just got to say yes and not doing it so. I miss everything and it almost killed me knowing that he walked away because he was tired of me, for a month, and not just because its getting so hard for him to accept that we are together but i can't get over still with the past. Maybe he was just so coward or shameful to see me in person so I decided to converse with him in sms to clear things up so I can end everything and move on without any regrets why I did not do such things. So I got all the answers that I needed and I had better feeling when I woke up today cause we had that conversation last night and I finally decided to end up bothering him and his "happy" life as what he said. Well, gotta grow and leave things cleared as what I told him. I never really stop when I am hanging and uncleared. Reality hurts but indeed sets me free. Still hard now but I am trying to get busy. Luck for me! ;-)