Future vs. Future

Realizing that after all it was not that easy to say who is meant to stay with you for the rest of your life. Often saying to myself things like he maybe or he may not be. It’s a choice to live and whom to live with. I was a hesitant of taking the risk but right now, I’m ready to take it. The only thing is I can’t do it right now because of some circumstances or maybe because there is nobody waiting still. The reality is, I was fooling myself that there are too many of them. I’m not really sure if they are just there because I do the first move and they just don’t want me to be ashamed of myself.
Anyway, why did I say future versus future? I guess a lot would say, “In my future life, I want to be stable…I have work, I own my house, I have my family and just have enough number of kids!”. This is true for several people including me. I see a guy that could be and might be going with me with that future life. I often thought about that for so many times and a smile and somehow a satisfaction is within me. I just discovered lately that it’s not the way it is. There could be a change on that matter. I forgot to ask myself bout this, “What will happen if you see your future away from the place you are right now and the guy you see going with you for that kind of future life sees that negatively…as in break-up?!” I’m going to explain that! What I meant is, I see him my future one but my own future is away with the place he could have a stable future. What will I choose, the future one or my own future? I mean, yes I know I have to consider my own future first but it could be without the future one. Or it could be that my own future is without my own future but with the future one. I never really imagined that I could be choosing from the two. Maybe the future one I thought will be going with me is not really the one. I mean, do you get it?! He is stable in his place and he wants to be in the place with his own family. If I leave the place, I might not be his family anymore. I don’t know what to choose for now. Let’s just see and let’s just play it. Answers will be soon revealed as my studies and some other important matters in life will be fulfilled before choosing what kind of future is much greater to live.