Advance Greetings!

Being online everyday is my life's routine. I can't just sleep without even opening a PC and checking on my online stuffs all day. But This time is really a season. It almost Christmas and I have to go back to my hometown to see my family and spend time with them. It's my four years living in Davao and I would really miss this place when I'm out of here. Christmas vacation is not that long anyway so I'll just be a little invisible for just a few days. Since I cant be online everyday, which is one of my ways on communicating to people, I would like to save this message here and let those who can read to feel the warmth of love and care I can share. I cant be here on that exact day so just pullin' this ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I love you all guys and thank you so much for the year that you've been a part. No matter how sad, how bad, or how happy you've caused my life, it will always matter. If you've never come around, I will never have these learnings, these realizations and the challenges of life. Thank you and God bless you all! Have fun! See you as soon as I can get online!

Succumb

Feeling so exhausted is really a failure of the day. I was full of headache last night but I feel well today. Very light even drank. Its the very first time I never had a hang over...with the hard. I just give-in to the emotions that was recently bothering me. The life of a person I used t know, now, I believe is totally gone. I am a loser and I submit myself to that. I never had this freedom of feelings. As if Im over. Im into the shadow of hurt, of tiredness, of shame and of fear. This is not me! I never give-up. I never give a damn care of whatever those people are giving me. The person I am knows when and how to ignore those who are indeed needed to be ignored. Who am I right now?! I don't even know myself. I don't know you, him or they. I don't know this or that. I don't know anything and some would think Im great but Im not! Im with my mask. The happy, the cheerful, the smiley, maybe cool, maybe strong but all of that was not me anymore. I never was, I even forgot how to be that person. I feel down for losing. I should be over it. When will I ever be out of my shell? I should act on my age but Im still in this sticky thing holding me and I cant move out. Just leave me alone and I just wanted to understand that my life is not bound to turn on the life of a person, of a certain emotion and feelings and of the shadow of anything. I have to be out and I have to be a soldier. I have to fight against it and I have to live a new life...with or without you! With or without anything to have!