Dedicated...

ME, Really?!
by a K i S s

Begin with walk on the air,
Back on them, Front on us,
We care, We turn our backs,
Rock on to d' game.

A lil' time to share,
Borowed for some way,
Hide and seek with us,
R u gona play?

Unplaned, Unwanted..
D' feelings started to raise,
Unwanted favor,
I jump and craze.

Intensity almost reached,
Was about to chus and stay,
Just wen i did,
Tilted and u go away.

F*** u 4 startin',
F*** u for leavin',
Player to player game,
Crafting me plunge, damn!

Tilt on ME

Really so early to drop it. Well, i got nothin' else to do but scan on pages i wanna look into. Playing this list of shit music on mah player sucks! Got some lines on the song like "it felt so crazy...baby forget about me". It really feels bad that I let sum1 cum into mah shivering life and just leave w/out clearing everythin'. Everythin' bout that thingy is really my bad. It sucks that everytym i asked that damn, he says nothing really cool on the other side of him. But guess what?! Just by scanning into web pages, fuckin' asshole is makin' a new day with that side w/out even tellin' me dat its getin' well. He was lost in me and so am I. I was nick on deeming that there was sumthin but there isn't. How could he start this bulls*** and cut me off?! Well, i was into this and must know the way out. The only gaffe that dickhead did is deciding to do it to ME. He should have mourn on playing the same player that he is. There's no good thing I can say now. But am totally livid and very very mad. Can't imagine if i could only burst this out noticeably, goodluck to the Philippines! lol. Still manage to laugh huh?! But this is serious, he should have chosen the person to rock on. No more baby...washy washy mode now! Done with that chapter so goodbye to mah beloved soul. F***!

Listen

Never had said I'm gonna lose the feeling but I lose him. I don't know why and don't know that it was going to happen. We'd never been together for long so I would not say I'm in love with him. I have my man and I still respect that matter. This other guy is just new, vague and easy. In behalf he's damn childish. I understand that he may act like that but he is supposed to be understanding the life around him. He would have just do good things to the one he cares but never really to those who are just around him. I know that he is trying to go back to the good man he is(i know he has a good side though). I just want to let go and give him up. There is this girl who's also close to me and really very sweet and good. I'm happy that she may be the one. I would be a lot happier if this guy would change because of her. I'm aching and it makes me want to drop a tear. I felt crying in front of him. "Whoever she is, that may not be me but just go back to the good person i felt you are." How I wish I could be the one but I think I will never be. He is starting to drop his passion to maybe win this girl. I'm happy that he is changing for somehow inspired with the presence of a girl, my friend i may say. I'm just hoping that his glow would cure my letting go. I don't know why I have the highest hope on him. I can't even explain why every time I get mad at him, there is always something pulling me back on staying with him and understanding his vague side. I'm a friend to him now and I'm supposed to be acting that way. Sometimes, it makes me want to run away. I want to see him happy but with another girl, one of the closest, it would make me bleed. As what I'm saying, I hope he could be happy with me and change for good as well. But now I guess its not my way to do it. I have to smile for them and I have to cry when they turn their back on me and laugh for being together. I want to accept that we are over whatever it is that we have or I have for him. I guess I would just keep on singing in my mind...the song I keep on listening right now. I asked him to sing for me and this song that keeps on playing now reminds me of his smile, his laugh and his smell...don't make any "Trouble" now...

Sooo Pissed Off

I cant construct my words. I've been spending minutes here and I still don't know how to state things. I'm just gonna make this straight. I hate being played like a fool specially when I'm starting to like a person. Hell with those who feel they are God and feel so great with themselves. I was about to fall and a guy just messed up on me. "Don't mess with pigs because pigs likes dirty and you might get dirty as well". He really is a pig and I'm starting to get dirty! I have a lot of cursing in mind but I don't want to write it here. I felt played and fooled! Just one thing. If your not on my page just tell me. You don't have to play or fool me. I need honesty and I don't want to think that you're one of them. I still have small chances for you. You're not oblige to do any good. Just be honest even if it's the worst. Just let me know my tone so I know where to position myself, what to act towards this shit and what to do to be out of it! Good enough?! You should be catching up my point now! Just simply tell me the truth and go away. You just wasted my time and my emotions towards you. I'm starting to get weak and I hate it because I'm not suppose to be affected. Gosh! I can't believe its happening again. I never learned! I want to think I'm wrong but where are you? I can't feel you and I can't see you. Go to hell!!!! grrrrrrr...!!! I'm really so mad of myself. I felt crying for being so stupid! I did one bad step again and I'm thinking how to get my dignity back! I want to scream every time I wake up and he is the first thing that comes in my mind. Get lost you dick head! I should not care because he doesn't even give a damn care. I have to tone down and forget whatever happened and whatever I feel. This is not doing any good for myself. I should learn out of it. Its just too hard for me to accept the situation because I'm already into it. Amnesia please! I really hate this and its happening again.

Hopin' I wasn't Wrong

Finally have done a very stupid thing in my recent life. The kindest thing I can do is say to someone that I did something very unacceptable to make him go away. Rubbish isn't it?! Yeah, I know but that's all I think I can do to make him hate me. I always thought I was wrong but half of it was right because I thought that wasn't selfish. I'm definitely playing drama now. Sitting alone here in front of this computer...crying and hurt. I'm wondering if I did the right decision. I'm with a man who talks about marriage, kids, house...yada yada...it's all about future on the right time but it seems that it's slowly flying over the wind. We're ok and yes we really are. Maybe for him we are but for me I'm starting to get sick. Did I make the right decision of choosing him? I'm too prank I know but I felt useless. I don't know what's in his mind every time I'm asking what's wrong. I don't know if he really meant on saying nothing or he just don't want to talk about it. Are we just afraid to loose each other though we really want it to?! A part of me says hold on cause its normal but the other part of me just wants to go on...alone and without him. I'm not as productive as he is definitely because I'm fresh in this real world. I want to be as he is, more if I can. It takes time and I could never say I could be the person he wants me to be. I want to feel from him that he fully accepts me as who I am or who will I become in time. Its regardless if he forget to text me, pay attention with my messages, ignoring some of my achievements. I even feel that he doesn't really believe on me and on what I can do. It wasn't right to feel this way but I felt so small with him. Its not supposed to be like this. This is love isn't it?? It should be understanding, trust and not thinking against it. Its always kind I suppose but why is it that I felt it like were playing so selfish with each other. I don't have any comments right now maybe because I cant construct the right words to say. I understand that he is tired and he has a lot of obligations but he is not alone in this world. He may see me small but I also have my obligations. It might be small to him but its a lot bigger in my small world. I'm just hoppin' I was right on choosing him and giving him my life. I got nothing else to say...

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