Just 15 minutes...

It’s already 10:15 on my watch. It’s the Philippine time anyway. After 15 minutes, our Political Science Class will be starting. Just want to write this early for a reason...disappointment. I was really disappointed because I did not wake up early this morning. Too bad I miss the Novena Mass today. Now, I just miss one. I really want to cry. Like it’s very important to me right now. My eyes started to open 6:12 am and the mass is certainly over. I get up from my bad with this very bad mood. Well, I guess I don’t have to ruin my whole day. So I texted my mother to tell her my grief. She told me to pray the rosary and say sorry to the Virgin Mary for not waking up early. Well at least that's from my mother and kind of relieve me. But still, it’s different! It should be 9 days of Novena Mass but I lose one chance already. So I guess I will be needing three alarms to wake me up tomorrow morning. I can’t just depend on my friend to wake me up. I’m somehow mad that she didn’t wake me up. Her reason? She is not feeling well. But she woke up the time before the mass. How I wish she just woke me up although she don’t want to go. Well, forget it! It just happened. Anyway, I still have 10 minutes to review what I've studied a while ago. It’s just really enchanting that my nocturnal side isn't affecting me today. See, I have just thought and write this morning. Lols. Have a nice day guys and good luck to my quiz!

Songs that Counts....

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Lyrics

I heard this first song from a friendster account of a friend. I really like its "EMO" tone. Since I'm practicing that currently, I easily fell in love with the song. I decided to put it in here but when i saw this song in my ex' b's blog, i was a hesitant of posting it. I saw this lyrics moving and I find it cool so i decided to put it anyway. Its an old style of putting lyrics. Like a lot of my friends were already using this style in their friendster account. The important thing is, its already on my page. I love the meaning. Its about sacrificing out of love. Proving that because of love, he can do everything.

Mariah Carey Lyrics
Always Be My Baby Lyrics

This second song is actually a part of my playlist and heard it playing on my ex' b's younger sister's friendster account again. I love her shoutout! "You'll always be my baby"...that is! Baby reminds me of a person who used to be there and suddenly has to leave me for a reason to move on. Well I put this one on my playlist because its more about leaving. It speaks more about the faith into the love they used to have. And because of that love, the one who leaves will be back. Perfect! That's how I am right now but the coming back is not sure to come true yet although faith of love is always there.

Hopin for you to appreciate both songs!

Memories by HEART

I'm gonna make this one simple. I just realize that we could really have a lot of memories. Some of it we might forget. A lot of us make our own writings in the diary. Like blogging or in a real diary book. Why do we do that?! First reason is to remember the things that happen or the things that are still going to happen like schedules we put into our organizer or calendar. Sometimes we don't want to forget important dates, meetings or something terrible and extraordinary settings. I cant see the essence. Maybe for meetings or business matters, this could be important but on the other hand, this could be pretentious.
Its more likely to know when a person whom you valued most just appreciate the dates like anniversaries and birthdays. Isn't it romantic when one could have all the memories of the past without reading or writing it to it's diary?! This is what I meant about memories by heart. If you really feel it, you can instantly remember everything. Love makes everything fresh. You may not always think about it your whole life but just by knowing the current date or by seeing things, there is it! Reminders just pop-out from your mind. Without minding it, you already have the memories from your heart.

Nocturnal

I'm better-off working at night and slumber the whole morning. You might be thinking I'm a banshee! Lol! By no means! I just love the hours of darkness. I love the stars around and the breeze of the air instead of the heat of the sun. I can’t ponder when I do the documentation early morning. I can’t even sleep at night. Yeah! I know this isn't normal. I'm actually thinking I'm ill. If you’re anxious, you don't have to. I have these plans of seeing the physician soon. Well the terrible thing of me being of the night is the upshot when morning comes. I have this very weighty body. I think I can’t stride. My hands were trembling and my stomach is really throbbing. I can’t even perceive sound at times and I feel like everything is so dim and suspended. I don't want to think I’m sick. I just feel weak but I can still budge. I can still think but I have to stare at stuffs first before I totally move out from bed. Sleeping for just a short period of time makes me feel like riding an octopus. Once you go down, you have to scrutinize first and take a balance. If you weren't into this situation guys, not yet nocturnal, never get yourself into this world! Always think about your health. I’m trying to defeat this practice. Still not easy but fighting. After all, I have a lot of reasons to live and dreams I’m still hunting to fulfill.

Sunday of Joy...Sunday of Rejoice!

I was really glad that i never failed to woke up early this morning. Its really so overwhelming to be there...attending the first day of the traditional Novena Mass. I woke up an hour earlier than the scheduled time. My friend and I were together joining the mass at ATENEO de DAVAO UNIVERSITY. It started at 5am. Not like others which usually starts at 4am. I feel great and not sleepy. I can still remember when i was young, i go with my family really sleepy. I just slept while the mass is going on. Lol. Well, i just had the faith and patience topic from the Jesuit Fathers of Ateneo. I estimated the time of his homily and I think, it was more than 30min of speech. Really worth it for everything that he said. The best part I cant forget is the Psalm which was actually sang by a guy. He's a part of the chorale i think. The psalm goes this way:

"Naway Kahabagan
Tayo ng Diyos
at pagpalain
kailan man."

The song made my body's hairs stand. I was not frightened but overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the voice and the feeling of lightness. I even had a teary eye. I felt that God never gave up on me. So many chances he had given and still, he is willing to forgive. Another thing i realized was the greatness of the morning. Ive been nocturnal these past few months. After the mass, I never slept again. Instead, I took a bath and went out of the house to blog. But i cant write. As usual, I cant think when its still early. Hahahah! Im trying to forget something. Realizing that I can do a lot of things when i start things early, inspires me to start and get things done as early as possible. Thanks for an early and good start with the LORD!

A Reason to Chose...

Here i go again! The last time i wrote was a lil irrelevant to how am i ryt now. These past few weeks, I was playing with these set of emotions and then realizations begun to freshen up. It started with a wrong thing, followed with a wrong love and next is the pain. It has a bit of misunderstanding on the way it has to be done and with that implication things brought to him! I just remember that the pain we both are having right now started from a decision i made. I felt sorry for a month but realizing the real reason why i have to make such decision is all because of luv, it gives me a lil strength. I was mad at myself for bringing the pain but at least right now, i already have the reason to be strong. Maybe not to overcome but at least have at least a reason to move on. Its really very hard to understand, to let go and to move on...yes i know but we have to! I have to! Just every time he pushes me away from him makes me think im not selfish at all. Ive used that wrong thing to make a pain, to show my love, and to make him stop from suffering any longer. The path started when i did a mistake, decided to use it for someone i love, used that to make somebody stop loving me, and the only decision i can make to stop him suffer just because of me. If ill say go, he wont go. He will but he will still stay for two years. He’ll wait while im playing around not knowing if i will still come back to him. The choice was: first, to stay, keep the sin and let him suffer for years? second, to reveal, let him suffer and finally trigger him not to love me anymore. At least, we both suffer or nevertheless, i will suffer. A decision that blows up everything. The only thing in my mind is..."Its my fault i know. I made a sin. Its a choice to tell you or not. Sooner or later you'll know. But i decided to say it for one good reason. I love you and I would be very selfish to let you wait for me while i will be laughing with the other. It really hurts me and you, i know your also in pain. I want this and i dont have any idea this could be any painful to me. Im sorry... though you can’t see it, you may not believe, that even to the last decision i made, I made it for you."